InsaneJournal

Current mood:	okay
Entry tags:	fic: harry potter fandom, fic: rated r, pairing: remus/james

A Week Prior
Title: A Week Prior
Rating: R
Pairing: Remus/James
Words: under 500
Summary: This is our last opportunity. Our only one.
Warnings: angst, infidelity (depending on how strictly you define it)
Notes: beta'd by the lovely innerslytherin

Remus grunted and shifted away from the wall, but the weight of James' body kept him pinned. "We shouldn't--"

"Moony," James interrupted urgently.

James pulled back and gave Remus a look that Remus was certain he'd never bestowed upon Lily. Remus understood it. He understood it because of seven years of friendship and a year and a half of something else that neither of them ever acknowledged because it was too hard to face, an ache they knew could never be soothed. Not completely, anyway.

"I can't-- I can't-- Moony, I'll be married in a week and we'll never-- this will never--" James stumbled over the words as he clumsily trailed kisses over Remus' neck

This is our last opportunity. Our only one. We wasted so much time and now it's too late, Remus filled in mentally. He clamped his eyes shut and listened to his heart break, wishing this was happening any other way. He lifted his hands, hesitated, and then started pulling open James' shirt. In a second, their hands were both flying, pulling open buttons and splaying their fingers across exposed skin until they were both shirtless, trousers half open and rubbing against each other, half-moaning and half-sobbing with need and desire and so much more.

Remus' lips were parted and he was panting, and James kept sucking and nibbling at them. Remus moaned and turned his head away, shutting his eyes against the emotion.

"Moony, kiss me."

Remus opened his eyes and looked at James, then only shook his head. For a minute, pain flashed across James' face and Remus wished he could take it back.

"Please."

Again. No.

"Why?" James finally whispered, starting to look wounded.

Remus took James' chin in his hand. "This is the only time." He paused, bit his lip, and looked away. "Isn't it?"

Remus felt James nod, silently, solemnly.

"Then I can't bear it." I want it too much.

"Oh, Remus, I'm sorry," James blurted, his face melting into lines of pain. He kissed Remus' lips again, his cheek, his nose, then down Remus' jaw and across his shoulder. Then he was shifting against Remus again, his fingers in the top of Remus' pants. "I just--"

Remus felt a rush of want go through him as James' hands slid lower, and he cut James off, "Don't. Let's... not explain." His breath had suddenly left him and his fingers curled into the back of James' trousers desperately. "Or... talk. Okay?" he panted, shifting up until James' fingertips were buried in the nest of curls around his cock and wrapping his leg around James'.

Remus whimpered; James panted desperately, then murmured "Mmhmm," just before they lost themselves to each other completely.